Week Five: Holy SHIT. Is that a tiny tomato?!
Big news, gang. Well, actually, tiny news. Mini sized vegetables have started appearing. At this point, it’s only the cherry tomato plant*, and they aren’t much more than pea-shaped green afterthoughts, but there is officially FOOD on its way in.
As an [incredibly premature] celebration, here is how I plan to joyfully murder all these herbs and vegetables throughout the beautiful summer months:
Mint: MOJITOS. If a single leaf of you manages a fate that doesn’t involve getting muddled around at the bottom of a tall glass and drowned in rum, I’ll eat my hat. I would also like to eat whatever was made with that deliquent leaf. You’ll feature this upcoming weekend in a rooftop BBQ we’re hosting, actually, so enjoy your last few days blowing gently in the breeze.
Tomatoes: Oh tomato, my juicy pal. You are fortunate. You and your fragrant, plump friends will find your way into many, many dishes. I’m picturing a deliciously fresh tomato sauce, grilled tomatoes, a calabrese salad… And also: BRUSCHETTA. The culinary world is our playground.
Basil: First and foremost is pesto. Now, this requires a pretty baller yield, so if you could man up and stop being pale and feeble, I’d appreciate it. I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but you’re kind of the rooftop joke these days… The jalepeno plant gave a killer stand-up routine at the Garden Variety Night, and you made up at least 60% of the material. I’d ask if you saw the performance, but you’re just always the first one asleep at the sleepover, aren’t you?
Bell Peppers: What can’t I put you in? Giant garden salad? Check. Pasta sauce? Check. Grilled veggie medley? Check. You’re versatile and open-minded, and I like that about you, Sergeant Pepper.
Jalapeno Peppers: You heartbreakers. Tease ‘em and leave ‘em crying, eh? Well, you’ll get what’s coming to you… and I’ll serve up a platter filled with jalapeno poppers.
Cukes & Zukes: Cucumbers, for you it’s getting doused with dressing on top of lettuce or featuring in some sort of strange mixed drink that I have yet to even know exists. Zucchini Nation, I’ve got you scheduled for a summer pasta situation, so don’t let me down.
Curry: I can’t lie to you, curry. I’m not really sure how to harvest you, so I won’t get your hopes up by describing some elaborate, elegant, flavourful dish in case I kind of drop the ball. It’s not all bad, though - what’s that lovely poem from Thomas Gray? “Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste it’s sweetness on the desert air.” That can be YOU, curry. After all, the world needs tragic heroes.
Chives: Baked potatoes. Enough said.
*Early bloomer - looks like someone’s going to need to take an awkward trip to the ladies department with mum… We do not have that in common, plant.