Separated at Birth: Ridley Scott’s “Alien” and This Fuckin’ Guy

Thank Neptune that the protrusible-jaw shaped hole in my heart has been filled. I only discovered that this awe-inspiring creature, called a Goblin Shark*, existed a few days ago, thanks to my annual subject-related Googling during Shark Week. All I could think about while watching this video clip was that Ridley Scott must have beat James Cameron to the deep-sea movie inspiration diving scene, and caught sight of this Pink Gnanther mowing down on some late-night calamari.

Interesting fact: the Goblin shark’s skin is pink due to the presence of blood vessels right below its semi-translucent skin. “Hey guys! What are you up to - oh quit peeing your sardinepants, Jesse, I’m not THAT terrifying. For Pete’s sake, I have skin the colour of cotton candy! Just ignore the fact that my jaws and giant teeth shoot out of this hidden cavity in my head at the blink of an eye, and check out my rosé coloured rump.”

- O

* Mega kudos to whichever horrified marine biologist cooked up that name